Thursday, January 2, 2014

Facing the Fears

Within the next few months, I will welcome the newest member of the family into this world. While I am overwhelmed by the love I feel for this precious one, I too have a deep and hidden sense of fear. A battle I am fighting against the evil one. 

Never did I imagine that I would go through an entire pregnancy as a single mother to a 3 year old and 2 year old. There have been many days filled with tears and questioning. Many sleep depraved nights from both mental and physical uneasiness. But, God has been faithful and provided me with the energy necessary to survive each day and constant support from family and friends. Each need has been met in His perfect timing, and He will continue to provide for our needs - baby gear, diapers, etc. He has been overly gracious to me, an undeserving sinner!

And, never did I imagine that I would bring my third child home as a single mother (oh, the fears and ways Satan uses this at night to keep me up). But, I know that God will once again be faithful to provide for me, the baby, and my 2 other precious ones! How could I believe otherwise when I look back on His provision for me during my pregnancy? 

I can hope in this situation because of the promises found within God's word. God knew each and every detail of my life before He placed it before me. He knew I would face a situation that I did not choose for me and my children. But, nothing has come to me that has not been filtered through His hands. 

In Jeremiah 29:11 God tells me, "For I know the plans I have for you (Emily), plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future." 

What a promise!! No, He doesn't promise to "fix" the situation with my solution, but He does promise that He is working His plan for my life, and as stubborn and prideful as I am, His plan is the best!

So over the next few months instead of allowing jealousy and fear to well up inside of me when scrolling through various social media sites and witnessing families bringing their babies home to "normal" lives, I will choose to fight the raging battle against the evil one, and praise God for all that He has done. And each time I fail at this (which realistically will be frequently) I will get back up, repent, reflect on what He has done, and once again praise Him!

"Fear not for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

***And a HUGE thanks to Brittany Germany for the blog design. I'm absolutely in love with it!! If y'all are looking for someone to do work for you, she is the one!***

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