Obedience

via Pinterest

God's timing is something that never ceases to amaze me. At the beginning of January, my mentor and dear friend invited me to attend bible study with her - a study on the book of Daniel. I agreed to attend, but I had no clue how perfectly this study would fit into my life. 

Daniel was a boy (who grew into a grown man) that obeyed God no matter the cost! At a young age, God allowed Daniel to be taken from his home, his family, his friends - his everything. And yet, Daniel remained obedient to God despite the circumstances. You see, Daniel feared God more than he did man. Daniel did what he knew to be obedient according to the law, and God blessed his obedience. God's provision and miraculous intervention in Daniel's life is overwhelming to recount.

Just like Daniel, I know the truth - what God's word says to me. And I see clearly that the blessings come on the other side of the obedience. However, in certain circumstances, it is so much easier to trust myself than trust in the Lord. It is much easier to try and fix problems myself than exercise patience and wait on the Lord's fix. But how wrong I am to do those things. In my decisions of disobedience, I am making the choice to forfeit the blessing on the other side by living in my selfish pride. 

Thankfully God, unlike man, is full of grace. And, thankfully He has shown light on this area of my life in His process to refine me. Because I want to be a Daniel. I want my life to be defined by my obedience to the Lord.

All Glory & Praise

Thank you, thank you for all the prayers surrounding Baylor and his surgery earlier this week! We were overwhelmed with the outpouring of support via text messages, phone calls, emails, etc. His almost instantaneous recovery has seemed nothing short of miraculous. All glory and praise to the Great Physician!

I can not say enough about our doctor, the nurses, and the staff at LeBonheur's surgery center. Wow - they impressed me! What a blessing to have a doctor who knelt down next to Baylor and prayed with him before surgery!! 

Baylor happily walked through the "bunny tunnel", picked out his toy, and proceeded back to surgery with his nurse - never looking back. And I was completely at peace (thanks to being covered in prayer). 

During surgery, we were updated on Baylor's progress by this pager. How cool & comforting is that? 

Here is my sweet boy just after his surgery and coming off his anesthesia. He requested a green popsicle, and that is exactly what he got :)

Killing time in recovery. Post green popsicle. Being silly and looking at his green tongue.

And, here he is about an 1.5 hours post surgery and back at home. Happy as can be! No fever and no complaints of pain. As I said earlier, ALL glory and praise to God for His quick healing of Baylor's little body!

Baylor -

Mommy is so proud of how brave you were today! God provided you with His protection and His healing like we (and so many others) had prayed. 

Before even leaving the surgery center, you were requesting the mango smoothie I had promised you. You never forget! And it wasn't more than 30 minutes after we got home that you and sissy already had your first fight of the day. I knew you were back to your normal self then :)

One day, I want you to look back on this day and recognize it as just one of the many times when God showed His provision in your life. Mommy loves you more than words can describe and wants the absolute best for you, but my love for you doesn't compare to how much God loves you! Never, ever forget that! 

I love you!

Please Pray

Update: Baylor is out of surgery, and we are at home. I am beyond impressed with the staff at LeBonheur. They were excellent!! And, I can't say enough about our doctor. What a blessing to have a dr who kneels down and prays with your baby before going into surgery! Thank you all for the prayers! All glory & praise to the Great Physician! 

Would y'all please pray with me today? My oldest, who is 3, is having his adenoids removed this morning (Monday). This is my first surgery being a momma, and though the procedure is small and very routine, I am still a little nervous. (I know some of y'all have faced much taller medical mountains with your kids, so maybe you can impart some wisdom on me for how you handled the tough stuff!) 

Please pray over the doctors, nurses, staff, medical equipment, etc that will be part of the procedure. Pray over Baylor's tolerance to the anesthesia. Pray that he doesn't experience pain and that his little body heals quickly. Pray that he doesn't have any complications in his recovery.

Also, pray that God gives me a peace and removes all anxieties I have. Pray that in this season of flu, fever viruses, and stomach bugs we all stay healthy so as to not hinder Baylor's healing. 

Love these following truths about our God - Jehovah Rapha - the Great Physician - our Healer. 

(All photos via pinterest)

And, sorry I have been absent from the blog lately. I hope to get back at it very soon! Life starts happening, and I forget to take time to slow down and reflect. Need to be much better about prioritizing that!

Strength

Finding strength amid the divorce process is terribly hard to do. Finding strength amid the divorce process while watching your spouse move to a new relationship seems even harder. Finding strength amid the divorce process, while watching your spouse move to a new relationship, while being the mommy to two little bitty babies (3 and 2) and considering the ramifications of this decision on their lives is sometimes debilitating. However, finding strength amid the divorce process, while watching your spouse move on to a new relationship, while being the mommy of two little bitty babies, while considering the ramifications of the divorce on those babies, and being significantly pregnant with (what was less than a year ago) your family's third child is at times crippling.

The daily tasks of preparing meals, running errands, play time, nap time, bath time, etc. are difficult for any mom - especially those of multiple toddlers. Your human strength quickly fails you after the 100th "no, we aren't going to do that right now" or "please listen to what mommy is telling you". Y'all know how busy these kids keep you! And y'all know many times it is a victory to make it through the day to bed time!

However, adding in the stress and strains of my divorce and pregnancy have worn on the strength I have to offer to my babies. Divorce is emotionally and mentally draining. Pregnancy is emotionally and physically draining. Add the two together and you have one pit of draining circumstances - emotionally, mentally, and physically. Then, you add in the stresses of daily life with toddlers, and y'all this is HARD! This set of circumstances seems so unfair at times!

I frequently wonder what my sweet parents must feel while watching their daughter and grand babies  tread through these waters - a path that they most definitely never wanted to happen. If at times I feel myself barely keeping my head above the flood, what must they see? And how it must break their hearts to watch their child and grand children go through this. (I know it would kill me to watch my own daughter walk this path!!)

And then I think of my Heavenly Father. How does he feel? Doesn't it pain Him deeply to watch his precious daughter and his little children suffer in such a way? Yes! No doubt it does! As I have said before, God is fully aware of my heartache. He is fully aware of the confusion and struggles my children feel. He is fully aware of the road that my babies and I are walking, and yet He has not chosen to remove it from beneath our feet. But, I have to remind myself that He can turn any situation into one that brings glory to Him. Instead of releasing my children and I from this, He has chosen to be our strength - to carry us through this time. And He will be glorified amid these circumstances!

"In Christ alone my hope is found, He is my life, my strength, my song."  

"I find my strength in Christ alone."

"Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord."

Each of these lyrics were part of our worship today at church. God knew I needed to be reminded that He is my only source of sustaining energy and strength! And that He promises to provide the exact amount of strength I need to make it through the circumstances of each and every day. 

"Have you not known? Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God,

    the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He does not faint or grow weary;

    his understanding is unsearchable.

29 

He gives power to the faint,

    and to him who has no might he increases strength.

30 

Even youths shall faint and be weary,

    and young men shall fall exhausted;

31 

but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;

    they shall mount up with wings like eagles;

they shall run and not be weary;

    they shall walk and not faint."

Isaiah 40:28-31

Trust

Trusting God is one of those things that I never really contemplated until my most recent season in life. I just always trusted. But, in the face of a situation that I never wanted to happen in the life of my family that trust has been put into serious question.

You see, looking back it was always easy to trust God because there was no tragedy in my adult life. Yes, I have had family members pass away, but never had I faced anything that flipped my entire world upside down.

And then, all of the sudden, I found myself in a place where trust became a choice and one that was hard to make (and still is)! Why would a God who loves me more than my earthly parents ever allow divorce? Why wouldn't He just answer my prayers of restoration and redemption? Isn't that what He wanted for me and my children as well? Why would He allow such heart ache? Clearly, this isn't what I had planned for my life!

Then, it hit me… like a ton of bricks. God is giving me the choice to trust Him and run into His arms or trust myself and do what I think is best. He is teaching me and growing me. He is forming me into His likeness. God cares more for my spiritual wellness than He does my earthly comfort. He wants me to glorify Him by choosing to trust Him, the all knowing God, and turning from my sinful, "I know better than God", self.

Do not get me wrong. I do not believe that God wants my marriage to end in divorce. He does however allow free will in our decisions and those of others. But, God can take any situation and make good from it. He promises us that in Romans 8:28 - "And we know in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Do you see that there is no caveat? He clearly says all things. So for me it reads, "Emily, even in the midst of your divorce, I am working good in you and for you."

Take a minute. Listen to this song, and digest the lyrics. God has called me out among the waters. He has allowed me to be in a position that my feet may fail and fear may surround me, but He has NEVER failed and He won't start now!

So, while at times it may be difficult and painful to keep my eyes above the waves and trust God's plan for my future, I want to be the individual who is willing to go wherever I may be called. I want my trust in Him to be without borders in order to increase my faith in Him. When oceans rise, I want my soul to rest in His embrace.
                                               

Prayer Requests

"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful." Colossians 4:2

Since the start of this blog I have prayed that God would use it to impact the lives of others for His Kingdom and glory. One of the things I feel called to do is use Friday as a day for prayer requests. Many of those who read are the people God has used to daily cover my children and me in prayer, and this is an easy way for me to update my prayer needs.

This is also an easy way for me to become a prayer warrior for each of you! I want to be able to pray over each of your needs, and I want others (who feel called to) to do the same thing. If you have a need, please leave it as a comment, so that we, as a community, can lift one another up. There is power in prayer!

Prayer Requests

• Please pray for my emotional healing during the divorce process. Pray that I will feel God's love, and that I will accept this as the only love I need. Pray that I am filled with His joy, and that I handle the divorce process with grace.
• Please pray that God would shield me from allowing my fears of the unknown to overwhelm me. Pray that I trust God with where I am going in this life.  
• Please pray for my sweet children - Baylor (3) and Addison (2). Pray specifically for their ability to adjust as this is obviously difficult on them. Also, pray for God's protection over their hearts and minds. 
• Please pray for my parents as they have taken on a totally new role in life - from empty nesters to a house full of little ones. 
• Please pray for the precious baby due in March. 
• Please pray for God's provision - specifically financially. Pray that I trust in Him alone to handle these details of my life.

I also ask that you lift up the Menees family. 

A picture of their family from a recent vacation they took.

Below is an excerpt from Julianne's Facebook regarding her mother's health:

"Today was a trying day... Mom has been in the hospital last few days and has gotten significantly worse as her cancer has rapidly spread in a short time. Moms has bed fighting to stay alive to see my sister get married on 1/25. Today was a bad day, none of us knew if she would make it through.... After some pain management mom seemed to wake up a new person. My sister surprised everyone w the news that her and her fiancé would be getting married in the hospital chapel on Friday bc bottom line she wants mom there (but since her wedding is paid for she still will be having it on the 25th) Ppl hav come together in only a few hours and donated so much, a cake, bouquets, catering exc. Sometimes people wonder if God is around and he is. I saw him work so many things today, he worked through so many people. We are ar peace and are blessed and beyond grateful!"

Pray for comfort and peace for this sweet family as they face such a difficult time.

This quote from Max Lucado says it perfectly. There is power in prayer - not because of who we are or what we say, but because of who He is! I hope that each of you is able to experience the power of prayer in your life.

Small Blessings

First, thank you to everyone who has stopped by and taken a few minutes to read this new adventure of mine! I really appreciate all the sweet and encouraging words that I have heard from y'all, and I truly covet each and every prayer.

Six to eight weeks ago, I was having one of my, what I will call, "bad days". One of the days when I questioned where God was and what His purpose in all this mess really was. I called one of my dearest friends to talk (actually cry to her), and she reminded me to look at the small blessings that occur each and every day. She reminded me that in those blessings, I will see where God is. I will see that God, in fact, has not abandoned me, and more truly that He loves me deeply. What excellent advice! Life during a difficult season seems so much more manageable when you focus on these blessings.

Since the beginning of the year, God has flooded my days with small blessings. He has divinely appointed various people to send me Facebook or text messages, make phone calls, and even bump into me at Target, the grocery, church, etc. allowing me to rekindle old relationships and see the vast group of individuals that He has praying for me and my children. He has used someone to give me a precious gift that states the lyrics to my favorite song (even more awesome - said individual didn't know it was my favorite song!). He has encouraged a sweet friend to send me and my kids a package of happies just because she wanted to say "I love you". He has provided a twin mattress, box spring, and bed frame from another one of His children that He was sending to the mission field in Nicaragua. And, He has appointed people to offer up their baby gear to me and the new baby.

Being Intentional not Just Busy

There is something in our society today about being busy. At times, it almost appears to be part of a status symbol. That if you and your children are involved in every activity, invited to every party, and don't have time to sit down for a family dinner, you have made it. You have achieved the pinnacle of suburban life. That you must have a calendar packed full during the week and a social event planned for every weekend in order to "keep up".

But, how often do we analyze the intentionality of the activities we spend the majority of our time doing? Are we involved in opportunities that have an eternal impact on our lives and those of others, or are we involved in things that simply make us happy and our life fun? Do we approach the decision of how we spend our time with the attitude of "I deserve because I have worked hard, saved money, etc" or with the attitude of "I am undeserving of His graciousness to me, therefore I…"? And most importantly, what are we teaching our children by raising them to be the busy people we are?

God must really have a desire to show me something in this area of my life because not one but two individuals spoke the following verse to me today:

"Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."

Psalm 90:12

I will be the first to admit that in the past I have not numbered my days. I have found myself so caught up in the life of surviving toddlerhood (and lately toddlerhood, pregnancy, and divorce), that I have ignored my responsibility to live with intentionality. There were countless opportunities when I should have made a phone call to check on a friend, prepared a warm meal for a hurting/needy family, or served others in some capacity - however, I didn't. And in that, I missed the chance to impact the lives of others and show my children what it means to live intentionally. But, once again God is good! He is a forgiving God who continues to present divine opportunities for me to live intentionally. And, He will be faithful to complete the work He has started in me!

Take a minute to digest these lyrics from the song "Take Heart" by Hillsong United. Oh, how they fill me with hope when Satan attacks my mind with his constant guilt trips!

"All our heartache and all our pain

God, our healer, He has overcome

All our burdens and all our shame

God, our freedom, He has overcome

All our troubles and all our tears

God, our hope, He has overcome

All our failures and all our fear

God, our love, He has overcome"

He has overcome all my shame and failures - He did that on the cross!! So, today, and tomorrow, and the days to come, I do not have to live in shame for my failure to be intentional, but I can follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit and live intentionally. I can find all my hope in the person and work of Jesus Christ. 

Facing the Fears

Within the next few months, I will welcome the newest member of the family into this world. While I am overwhelmed by the love I feel for this precious one, I too have a deep and hidden sense of fear. A battle I am fighting against the evil one. 

Never did I imagine that I would go through an entire pregnancy as a single mother to a 3 year old and 2 year old. There have been many days filled with tears and questioning. Many sleep depraved nights from both mental and physical uneasiness. But, God has been faithful and provided me with the energy necessary to survive each day and constant support from family and friends. Each need has been met in His perfect timing, and He will continue to provide for our needs - baby gear, diapers, etc. He has been overly gracious to me, an undeserving sinner!

And, never did I imagine that I would bring my third child home as a single mother (oh, the fears and ways Satan uses this at night to keep me up). But, I know that God will once again be faithful to provide for me, the baby, and my 2 other precious ones! How could I believe otherwise when I look back on His provision for me during my pregnancy? 

I can hope in this situation because of the promises found within God's word. God knew each and every detail of my life before He placed it before me. He knew I would face a situation that I did not choose for me and my children. But, nothing has come to me that has not been filtered through His hands. 

In Jeremiah 29:11 God tells me, "For I know the plans I have for you (Emily), plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future." 

What a promise!! No, He doesn't promise to "fix" the situation with my solution, but He does promise that He is working His plan for my life, and as stubborn and prideful as I am, His plan is the best!

So over the next few months instead of allowing jealousy and fear to well up inside of me when scrolling through various social media sites and witnessing families bringing their babies home to "normal" lives, I will choose to fight the raging battle against the evil one, and praise God for all that He has done. And each time I fail at this (which realistically will be frequently) I will get back up, repent, reflect on what He has done, and once again praise Him!

"Fear not for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

***And a HUGE thanks to Brittany Germany for the blog design. I'm absolutely in love with it!! If y'all are looking for someone to do work for you, she is the one!***

Hope

In past years ringing in the new year meant a list of resolutions that I ultimately fell short of accomplishing - always leaving me disappointed and feeling inferior to those who never wavered from their resolutions. However, this year I have adopted a new philosophy. Instead of making a list of resolutions, I have adopted a word for me and my children. That word is hope.

In scripture, hope means a "strong and confident expectation". One article I read put hope in this manner, "a biblical hope is not an escape from reality or from problems. It doesn’t leave us idle, drifting or just rocking on the front porch. If our hope is biblical and based on God's promises, it will put us in gear." I love this!! Hope is not a passive activity, but it is dynamic and life sustaining. Hope has results. It changes the way we see ourselves, changes what we value, and affects what we do with our lives. Hope has rewards and blessings. It gives us joy, peace, protection, strength, courage, and boldness.

In 2014, I pray that we find hope in our circumstances. As we wait patiently for the pain of this season to pass, I hope we can make priceless memories and develop new traditions as our own little family of soon to be 4. I hope for the perfect job, hope for a healthy baby, hope for healing in our hearts, hope for new love in our life, hope to be able to impact God's kingdom with our story, and most importantly hope that we never forget the goodness of our Savior as we walk through the storm. 

In order to constantly remind myself of this hope we have, I have searched for verses that focus on hope. Each month I am challenging myself to commit to memory one of these verses. For January, I have chosen Romans 12:12. 

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."

What are you hoping for in the New Year? 

Here it goes! For several years I have (on & off) considered blogging. On many an occasion I would decide to go for it, and then discouragement would creep up inside of me and convince me I was wasting my time. You know, the no one cares what is going on in your boring life voice that lives in so many of us? Yes, that discouragement! So, with the start of a new year and the impending start of a new life for me and my children (more on that later) there is no time better than the present to begin this online journal of sorts. I pray that through my journey and the journey of this blog, I am able to touch the lives of individuals who I would have otherwise not been in contact.