Truths

It is 10:20 pm and I hear my eldest, a 3 year old, crying out in his sleep. I go into his room and comfort my sweet little boy until he is back sound asleep. Sitting on the end of his bed I become overwhelmed with emotion. "How can I do this as a single mom?"

"God, what good is going to come out of this? Why would you allow this to happen? Motherhood is by far the most rewarding job ever, but God, you know how exhausting it is!"

So many moms of three kids have told me how three is an absolute game changer - how difficult it is - how exhausted they are. And here I am embarking on not only the new challenge of being a single mom, but a newly single mom with a third child on the way. Talk about being discouraged!

And then, through the tears, God once again reveals himself to me.

He reminds me that Satan wants to destroy me!
Satan wants to speak nothing but despair in my life!
Satan wants my divorce and the circumstances surrounding it to nearly kill me physically, emotionally, and spiritually!
Satan desperately wants to win this battle!

But my Savior, Jesus Christ, has promised me so much more! He has given me an entire book of His promises. And His promises are good and true!

• "Fear not, for I am with you. I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."  Isaiah 41:10 - TRUTH

• "God can restore what is broken and change it into something amazing, all you need is faith." Joel 2:25 - TRUTH

• "I have made you and I will carry you. I will sustain you and I will rescue you." Isaiah 46:4 - TRUTH

• "Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world." John 16:33 - TRUTH

• "Blessed is she who believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her." Luke 1:45 

You see, it is so easy to get caught in Satan's trap and live in despair while overlooking the truths that have been set before me. I don't want to be the mom that people look at and say, "oh poor thing". I want to be the mom who without fear takes the cards I have been dealt in life, and walking hand in hand with my Creator build something unbelievable as He alone restores the broken.

Oh how deeply I desire my faith to permeate every facet of my life starting with a unequivocal trust that the Lord will fulfill His promises to me. He will uphold me. He will carry me. He will rescue me. He will provide for me. He will bless me in my obedience of him!

For Sale!!

So, this is my first time to do anything like such. Got to clean out some unnecessary Spring/Summer items. If you are interested in any items, please just post a comment. Feel free to contact me with any questions. Thanks in advance :) 

Smocked 2 piece - 9 mo - $18 shipped - Sold PPU

Bailey Boys swim trunks - 18 mo - $10 shipped 

Monday's Child - 12 mo - $14 shipped

Classic Whimsy - 9 mo - $22 shipped

Classic Whimsy - 9 mo - $22 shipped 

Royal Child - 6 mo - $16 shipped - SOLD PPU

Rosalina - NWT 9 mo - $24 shipped

Royal Child - 12mo - $16 shipped - SOLD PPU

Secret Wishes - 6 mo - $18 shipped 

Sir John - 9 mo - $18 shipped

Sir John - NWT 9 mo- $24 shipped

Little English - 6 months - $18 shipped

2T - Would be perfect to have monogrammed! - $18 shipped 

Little English - 6 months - $18 shipped 

Petit Ami - size has worn off tag but I am assuming 6 months - $14 shipped

Smocked sheep - 6 months - $14 shipped - SOLD PPU

Little English - 12 months - $10 shipped - Sold PPU

Bella Bliss - Size 2 - Just needs to be ironed - $18 shipped

Obedience

via Pinterest

God's timing is something that never ceases to amaze me. At the beginning of January, my mentor and dear friend invited me to attend bible study with her - a study on the book of Daniel. I agreed to attend, but I had no clue how perfectly this study would fit into my life. 

Daniel was a boy (who grew into a grown man) that obeyed God no matter the cost! At a young age, God allowed Daniel to be taken from his home, his family, his friends - his everything. And yet, Daniel remained obedient to God despite the circumstances. You see, Daniel feared God more than he did man. Daniel did what he knew to be obedient according to the law, and God blessed his obedience. God's provision and miraculous intervention in Daniel's life is overwhelming to recount.

Just like Daniel, I know the truth - what God's word says to me. And I see clearly that the blessings come on the other side of the obedience. However, in certain circumstances, it is so much easier to trust myself than trust in the Lord. It is much easier to try and fix problems myself than exercise patience and wait on the Lord's fix. But how wrong I am to do those things. In my decisions of disobedience, I am making the choice to forfeit the blessing on the other side by living in my selfish pride. 

Thankfully God, unlike man, is full of grace. And, thankfully He has shown light on this area of my life in His process to refine me. Because I want to be a Daniel. I want my life to be defined by my obedience to the Lord.

All Glory & Praise

Thank you, thank you for all the prayers surrounding Baylor and his surgery earlier this week! We were overwhelmed with the outpouring of support via text messages, phone calls, emails, etc. His almost instantaneous recovery has seemed nothing short of miraculous. All glory and praise to the Great Physician!

I can not say enough about our doctor, the nurses, and the staff at LeBonheur's surgery center. Wow - they impressed me! What a blessing to have a doctor who knelt down next to Baylor and prayed with him before surgery!! 

Baylor happily walked through the "bunny tunnel", picked out his toy, and proceeded back to surgery with his nurse - never looking back. And I was completely at peace (thanks to being covered in prayer). 

During surgery, we were updated on Baylor's progress by this pager. How cool & comforting is that? 

Here is my sweet boy just after his surgery and coming off his anesthesia. He requested a green popsicle, and that is exactly what he got :)

Killing time in recovery. Post green popsicle. Being silly and looking at his green tongue.

And, here he is about an 1.5 hours post surgery and back at home. Happy as can be! No fever and no complaints of pain. As I said earlier, ALL glory and praise to God for His quick healing of Baylor's little body!

Baylor -

Mommy is so proud of how brave you were today! God provided you with His protection and His healing like we (and so many others) had prayed. 

Before even leaving the surgery center, you were requesting the mango smoothie I had promised you. You never forget! And it wasn't more than 30 minutes after we got home that you and sissy already had your first fight of the day. I knew you were back to your normal self then :)

One day, I want you to look back on this day and recognize it as just one of the many times when God showed His provision in your life. Mommy loves you more than words can describe and wants the absolute best for you, but my love for you doesn't compare to how much God loves you! Never, ever forget that! 

I love you!

Please Pray

Update: Baylor is out of surgery, and we are at home. I am beyond impressed with the staff at LeBonheur. They were excellent!! And, I can't say enough about our doctor. What a blessing to have a dr who kneels down and prays with your baby before going into surgery! Thank you all for the prayers! All glory & praise to the Great Physician! 

Would y'all please pray with me today? My oldest, who is 3, is having his adenoids removed this morning (Monday). This is my first surgery being a momma, and though the procedure is small and very routine, I am still a little nervous. (I know some of y'all have faced much taller medical mountains with your kids, so maybe you can impart some wisdom on me for how you handled the tough stuff!) 

Please pray over the doctors, nurses, staff, medical equipment, etc that will be part of the procedure. Pray over Baylor's tolerance to the anesthesia. Pray that he doesn't experience pain and that his little body heals quickly. Pray that he doesn't have any complications in his recovery.

Also, pray that God gives me a peace and removes all anxieties I have. Pray that in this season of flu, fever viruses, and stomach bugs we all stay healthy so as to not hinder Baylor's healing. 

Love these following truths about our God - Jehovah Rapha - the Great Physician - our Healer. 

(All photos via pinterest)

And, sorry I have been absent from the blog lately. I hope to get back at it very soon! Life starts happening, and I forget to take time to slow down and reflect. Need to be much better about prioritizing that!

Strength

Finding strength amid the divorce process is terribly hard to do. Finding strength amid the divorce process while watching your spouse move to a new relationship seems even harder. Finding strength amid the divorce process, while watching your spouse move to a new relationship, while being the mommy to two little bitty babies (3 and 2) and considering the ramifications of this decision on their lives is sometimes debilitating. However, finding strength amid the divorce process, while watching your spouse move on to a new relationship, while being the mommy of two little bitty babies, while considering the ramifications of the divorce on those babies, and being significantly pregnant with (what was less than a year ago) your family's third child is at times crippling.

The daily tasks of preparing meals, running errands, play time, nap time, bath time, etc. are difficult for any mom - especially those of multiple toddlers. Your human strength quickly fails you after the 100th "no, we aren't going to do that right now" or "please listen to what mommy is telling you". Y'all know how busy these kids keep you! And y'all know many times it is a victory to make it through the day to bed time!

However, adding in the stress and strains of my divorce and pregnancy have worn on the strength I have to offer to my babies. Divorce is emotionally and mentally draining. Pregnancy is emotionally and physically draining. Add the two together and you have one pit of draining circumstances - emotionally, mentally, and physically. Then, you add in the stresses of daily life with toddlers, and y'all this is HARD! This set of circumstances seems so unfair at times!

I frequently wonder what my sweet parents must feel while watching their daughter and grand babies  tread through these waters - a path that they most definitely never wanted to happen. If at times I feel myself barely keeping my head above the flood, what must they see? And how it must break their hearts to watch their child and grand children go through this. (I know it would kill me to watch my own daughter walk this path!!)

And then I think of my Heavenly Father. How does he feel? Doesn't it pain Him deeply to watch his precious daughter and his little children suffer in such a way? Yes! No doubt it does! As I have said before, God is fully aware of my heartache. He is fully aware of the confusion and struggles my children feel. He is fully aware of the road that my babies and I are walking, and yet He has not chosen to remove it from beneath our feet. But, I have to remind myself that He can turn any situation into one that brings glory to Him. Instead of releasing my children and I from this, He has chosen to be our strength - to carry us through this time. And He will be glorified amid these circumstances!

"In Christ alone my hope is found, He is my life, my strength, my song."  

"I find my strength in Christ alone."

"Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord."

Each of these lyrics were part of our worship today at church. God knew I needed to be reminded that He is my only source of sustaining energy and strength! And that He promises to provide the exact amount of strength I need to make it through the circumstances of each and every day. 

"Have you not known? Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God,

    the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He does not faint or grow weary;

    his understanding is unsearchable.

29 

He gives power to the faint,

    and to him who has no might he increases strength.

30 

Even youths shall faint and be weary,

    and young men shall fall exhausted;

31 

but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;

    they shall mount up with wings like eagles;

they shall run and not be weary;

    they shall walk and not faint."

Isaiah 40:28-31

Trust

Trusting God is one of those things that I never really contemplated until my most recent season in life. I just always trusted. But, in the face of a situation that I never wanted to happen in the life of my family that trust has been put into serious question.

You see, looking back it was always easy to trust God because there was no tragedy in my adult life. Yes, I have had family members pass away, but never had I faced anything that flipped my entire world upside down.

And then, all of the sudden, I found myself in a place where trust became a choice and one that was hard to make (and still is)! Why would a God who loves me more than my earthly parents ever allow divorce? Why wouldn't He just answer my prayers of restoration and redemption? Isn't that what He wanted for me and my children as well? Why would He allow such heart ache? Clearly, this isn't what I had planned for my life!

Then, it hit me… like a ton of bricks. God is giving me the choice to trust Him and run into His arms or trust myself and do what I think is best. He is teaching me and growing me. He is forming me into His likeness. God cares more for my spiritual wellness than He does my earthly comfort. He wants me to glorify Him by choosing to trust Him, the all knowing God, and turning from my sinful, "I know better than God", self.

Do not get me wrong. I do not believe that God wants my marriage to end in divorce. He does however allow free will in our decisions and those of others. But, God can take any situation and make good from it. He promises us that in Romans 8:28 - "And we know in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Do you see that there is no caveat? He clearly says all things. So for me it reads, "Emily, even in the midst of your divorce, I am working good in you and for you."

Take a minute. Listen to this song, and digest the lyrics. God has called me out among the waters. He has allowed me to be in a position that my feet may fail and fear may surround me, but He has NEVER failed and He won't start now!

So, while at times it may be difficult and painful to keep my eyes above the waves and trust God's plan for my future, I want to be the individual who is willing to go wherever I may be called. I want my trust in Him to be without borders in order to increase my faith in Him. When oceans rise, I want my soul to rest in His embrace.